Inside Out

This image portrays the supportive and nurturing mother. The one who allows the child to hide behind her and tell her all her fears, creating a sanctuary of safety. She is the one who listens to the child’s dreams, hopes, wishes and desires and holds them for her in her womb until the child feels confident enough to take them out and display in the world. The mother encourages the child to grow at her own pace, to explore her world in safety with the knowledge that she can always return to her safe haven. The haven provides acceptance, love and protection at all times. The mother reminds the child when she feels lost, alone and different, of her potential, she draws forth the memories stored in her womb, assisting the child to revisit many of her passions she had forgotten. The mother believes anything is possible and encourages the child to use expression, dance, play, music, art and nature to intimately explore this wondrous world within her that has been put aside for a long time. This assists the child to move into the world with courage and a belief in herself. She is able to follow her passion with confidence, never doubting that she is able to become anything she so desires to become. She is released into life to become her potential without limitation, without fear of being different. Who she is okay, she is worthy, she is creative, she is important.

The Offering

It takes a while this settling in, 5 years and more before I become content about where I live. I no longer feel the need to constantly fly back to Adelaide. I enjoy being where I am. It helps that I can sit outside on the deck and enjoy this magnificent view. The constant chatter of birdlife surrounds me, while in the distance the kookaburra’s herald in the morning with a cackling laugh, reminding me to enjoy the moment and take time to laugh.

At one stage in my life I thought I had lost joy and laughter forever. I would peer into others lives in wonder as they went through life unaware of the happiness they reflected outwardly, yet I was bereft of this state. It had slithered out of my life and seemed buried in the undergrowth hidden from view. I felt betrayed, bewildered and totally lost desiring someone else to fill the happiness space.

What a joy to sit here today feeling that internal state of joy and contentment bubbling up from within me. I now longer felt that I needed to be out there trying to get someone to bring it within, no longer desperately trying to make it happen.

I sit here totally present, satisfied and at peace with my world. Nature, creativity and the will to give up the past assisted in my return to this place. The seeds of happiness are deep within my heart which is now ready to share them with others along the way.

I offer to the Goddess my deepest thanks for her guidance to this place. The offering I give is the symbol of peace, the dove which is shown flying through the trees as sunlight, the symbol of happiness lights the sky and the symbol of love in the roses show their breathtaking splendor to the world and lastly I offer laughter, in the form of the kookaburra..

The Dream Master

I moved quickly into the dream.  I felt the walls around me close in, it was dark, damp and smelt of pungent decaying earth.  I used my hands along the walls to guide me deeper.  I knew I was ascending deeper and deeper into the earth.   Here I was answering the request of one of the master dreamers, I had been told it was my time to stand up and proclaim my creative right, there was no longer time for procrastination.  Many lives were depending upon me and this journey within.  Halting for a few minutes to steady myself and catch my breath, I repeated in my mind “I will not let fear overcome me”.  I could free the intense tendrils of fear slowly beginning to creep towards me the closer I moved to my destination.  I was in disguise, I needed this disguise otherwise I would be devoured by the ugly creatures, the guardians of the under world.  My disguise consisted of a skin tight insect suit, which changed my appearance to one similar to a preying mantis, the ones who after mating turning around and ate their mate.  Part of me  liked that idea of consuming the male in his entirety, that sense of power over another, it was then that I sensed the energy of this place was beginning to have an effect on me, I needed to be on my guard at all times, thoughts were very powerful things and could change my energy completely and in doing so imprison me in this place forever.  The deeper I walked the more on guard I needed to be.  Focus, this was the most important task…  I was here to rescue and bring to the surface the lost child within.  She had been taken from me eons ago and only now did I feel I had the courage to reclaim her.  This precious girl, the one who loved to dance, to sing, to paint with gay abandon and the freedom to be herself. Her smile brought happiness to all who beheld it.  So sweet, so innocent and so full of trust.  She trusted that one day I would come and find her and take her away from this retched place.  The radiant child, buried deep in my unconscious mind waiting patiently for my return.

The stench of rotting flesh grew stronger; I could hear movement, clanging of chains and sudden cries of anguish and pain.  What creatures must be imprisoned in this place, what sort of creatures would imprison them? All these questions bombarded me as I continued along the passage of fear.

I could see a glimpse of light as I moved further along; I no longer needed my hands to guide me.  There was a shear drop of about 20 feet below me, looking down I could see her.  My excitement grew, I had made it, well nearly, I just needed to get down to her.  From above I was amazed at her brilliance, her light so strong in this dark place.  The floor she was sitting on looked so cold, it was as if this place just sucked all the life out of anyone who ventured here, yet this child could hold her brilliance.

I had to be careful the guardians were all around, my disguise had kept them at by through the passage but how would I go getting down to her.  I glimpsed a stairwell in the distance and decided I would continue the journey passing through the guardians with the child in focus, it worked as I approached they bowed their heads and let me through.  It seemed that this insect disguise was respected down here.  The insect form was regarded as  higher breeding than the guards, and then I realized that the guards had been in this dark place so long they could no longer see, but they could sense strongly fear.  As long as I kept fear away they would not harm e, but one thought of fear and then I would be attacked and left to die here.  Fear feeds these creatures, this place was a storehouse of fear, any sign of weakness would give the cue to attack and be thrown into the pits to rot with the other vermin.  I needed to focus clearly on radiance, radiance and the child within.  These beings had captured this child in the hope of holding creativity from me, by doing this I would then become like all the rest of the beings down here lost and without hope.  If every being in the world lost this sense it would destroy the planet by taking away  hope, joy and spontaneous creativity.  There would be no more laughter.  I needed to bring this child to the surface, embrace her and leave the past thought system behind. 

I had one more corner to maneuver around, one more obstacle and then I was through.  I could now see the light glowing brighter and brighter ahead, there in the centre of the room sat the child, holding the world in her hands, protecting it from the surrounding darkness.  Protecting her was a circle of flames

I was now asked the final question: Do you have the courage to stand before this radiance and pledge allegiance to life?  The fear around me was mounting, it was becoming thicker and thicker the longer I stood with questions infiltrating my mind, sadness, disillusion, betrayal, guilt all stood before me.  The main question that kept coming to mind was why should I be the one chosen for this quest.  From within me I felt a sudden urge to move forward, dive into the depths and trust.  I stood on the edge trembling was I making the right decision and then it happened, the inner push to dive in regardless of the outcome.  I felt the heat of the flames engulfing me, as I took the plunge, the heat burned my flesh then  it turned into a sense of icy cold, so cold my teeth began to chatter, my knees buckled from beneath me as I surrendered to this sensation, I could no longer fight.  I fell hitting the floor and knocking my head on the last step.  In my unconscious state I imagined the child getting up and  leaning over me, as she came face to face with me she looked deep into my eyes, she was thanking me for my courage and tenacity to meet her in this place.  I am eternally grateful to you for rescuing me from the shackles of the  past,   My hope and trust of your return was the only thing that kept me alive.  She spoke with the sweetest voice, it was so melodic I seemed to be enchanted by the vibration. You no longer need your disguise, she told me. It is safe now to be seen to let yourself shine, like I have done in this dark place so long.  Let us now combine our energies  and become one, we can then shine outside as well as inside.  As I took her hands the internal flame consumed us with colors of brilliance, the intense colors of the rainbow transcended us.  Now our work together would begin, I could once again connect with wild abandon the qualities of the radiant child.  I no longer needed anyone else’s approval or permission to be accepted in this world.  I was enough.  Innocence and joy were returned.

The child is reborn

The child is life

The child runs free

The child knows no bounds

The child expresses

The child creates

The child loves life.

The child is filled with love.